11:46 a.m. - 2010-10-17
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He wants me to talk to him yet......everything i say is nothing he wants to hear, he cuts me off in my sentence, yells at my thoughts, ideas and fears and feelings. I am starting to think this is due to him wanting a reason to yell at me, or wanting to dispurse his own frustrations on. It is ok for him to point out my bad points but not for me. It is ok for him to slap me but not for me. I am to not say what he may not agree with yet not allowed to go with what he says. i can not look at the fact that 12 an hr from one job is not enough to pay of debts, to cover bills, and to get out on our own, this is hard because garry and kim are not going to be willing to support us forever so my thoughts keep straying to the facts and my mind races with ideas of how to solve it, as a slave it is my job to do all that I can and if i can find another source of income why is this so bad? I can think it but dont say it. does this mean that with M/s H/w relationships we can only share what will make each other happy? That we cant share our worries, and fears No having someone to share them with and bounce ideas off of to fix things that need to be fixed make me darker and darker and feeling more alone. I feel like a looser for needing someone to talk to. I cant find happiness is this new requirement to be alone, and i am having a hard time finding positives because of it.
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